What to Say Wednesday: Acknowledge the Loss

What to say Wednesday 1Welcome to What to Say Wednesday – a short weekly post offering a suggestion of what to say or avoid saying to parents who have lost a child. To find out more click the icon to the left!

Here is today’s tip…

When someone you know loses a baby, acknowledge the loss. While it is difficult to know what to say, don’t fall into the common tendency to say nothing at all. Doing so essentially pretends the loss didn’t occur, and the baby never existed. One of the most difficult things for a grieving mom is for her baby’s life to not even be recognized.

When you acknowledge the death of a baby, you are also acknowledging his/her precious life. You are communicating to the parents that you know what happened and you care. You are telling them that they are not alone, and their baby was important. Sometimes just the words, “I’m so sorry” can mean the most.

Be watching for another tip next Wednesday!

Comments

  1. Kira Braun says:

    Wow, Kalyn! It’s so amazing that people from different ages, walks of life, and even different nations all feel pretty much the same things when they lose a child. When I read your words “You are telling them…their baby was important,” my heart leaped. That is so true! Many people try to pretend nothing happened because of a mistaken notion that bringing her up and making you cry is a bad thing. Bringing her up shows that she was important, and for some reason, that is huge for a grieving parent. Don’t know why it is, exactly. Must be a spiritual thing – she WAS immeasurably important, valuable and precious to God and so we FEEL it, unlike when a pet dies and we get over it in a week or two.

    • Kalyn from Mommy's Heavenly Dream says:

      Kira,

      Yes, it’s crazy how people feel such similar things when losing a child. You’re right, we feel our child’s importance. It’s so deep inside of us as parents. When other people talk about our heavenly children, it touches us in a huge way. Like you said, I wish more people understood this, instead of pretending nothing happened. Thanks for sharing…

      Kalyn

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