What to Say Wednesday: Never Say…

What to say Wednesday 1Welcome to What to Say Wednesday – a weekly tip on how to support families who have lost a baby. To learn more click HERE

Here is today’s tip…

When tragedy strikes, it is natural to look for something to hold onto. People want some hope, some comfort to lessen the blow. When a baby dies, this natural tendency leads well meaning friends to say unhelpful things.

Never say “at least you have _________,” filling in the blank with the names of the couple’s living child or children.

This is a very common but futile attempt to bring comfort.

Statements like this are very misunderstanding. The fact that someone has another child does not make up for the baby that was lost. Each child is an individual person who is uniquely loved and deeply wanted. They each have a special place in the family, and when a baby dies, there will always be a hole.

Instead, recognize that this child will always be missed from the family.

Comments

  1. Adam Waller says:

    Good advice.
    Love you

  2. Kira Braun says:

    Yes! No person replaces another person, and that’s not just something nice to say. It’s true! For example, if your parents lost one of their ten, they wouldn’t shrug and say, “Well, we’ve got the other nine!” Any parent would agree.

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