Some Days the World Stands Still

SunriseNow a few months out from my loss, I feel like I am functioning better day to day. God is upholding me and giving me strength. Often, I am able to concentrate and be more productive than I could a few weeks ago.

Yet there are still days when the world feels like it just stands still.

When every moment of the day, the sorrow is so heavy I can hardly breathe. When my mind can’t accomplish anything, and all I feel is aching from deep inside my heart. When my feet feel like bricks and just the weight of walking around my house seems to take all my energy. All I sense is the emptiness. All I can see is the pain of living life without her.

On these days, I feel helplessly stuck in time. I can’t go back and rewrite the script, yet I can’t see ahead into the future either.

As I pondered this, I wondered why some days just hit so hard. I scanned my brain for a truth to hold onto. Something to be an anchor for these difficult times. All at once, an image came to my mind…

Potter-and-Clay

I thought about the concept of the Potter and the clay. Being molded by the hands of God.

“But now, O Lord, You are our Father, We are the clay, and You our potter; And all of us are the work of Your hand.” Isaiah 64:8

On the potter’s wheel, the clay is still and unmoving while the potter gently shapes it into something wonderful. I realized that when I am “stuck” in time, unable to move or accomplish anything because of my pain, it is the perfect time to yield afresh to the Potter’s hands. While I sit still, God shapes me. While I am falling apart, God is putting me back together. While I am in despair, God is rejoicing over me. And while all I see is brokenness, God sees something beautiful. I trust the hands of the Potter. I know He is not the source of my pain, but rather, my only source of hope. He alone can rebuild me.

I truly want to let God mold me. Even in this most difficult time, I welcome His firm, but loving hands to craft me into the woman He has called me to be. I pray that through Esther’s life, I would be even more changed by the Potter’s hands.

Whatever you are going through, I challenge you today: yield to the Potter. He knows you. He cares. And in His hands are life, strength, and hope.

Comments

  1. I struggled with God quite a bit when we went through our loss. I think it was only hindsight that showed me how carefully he sculpted everything and held us. But that was a sweet realization.

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