Introducing: Esther’s Hope – Projects to Carry Her Legacy of Life

Esther's Hope logoWe are now more than a week into July and each day brings me closer to when my second daughter, Esther Kate Waller, would have been making her grand entrance into the world. A part of me wants to just get past this month, and a part of me wants to savor every day, as the memories of what should have been somehow make me feel closer to her. The roller coaster ride of emotions has intensified recently, since in 5 days I would have been considered “full term” pregnant. My mind is working overtime trying to cope, understand, grieve, adjust, and whatever else a person is supposed to do after their world has fallen apart.

Ever since Esther died, I have spent a lot of time wondering what important dates and holidays will feel like without her here…

What will July 28th be like? It will forever be a yearly reminder that she should be celebrating another 12 months of life.

What about February 15 each year? Esther’s actual “birthday.” The day that I held her in my arms for the first and last time. The day that represents so much joy and yet so much pain all at once.

Then I think about Christmas. What will it be like to always have one of my children missing from the joyful celebration?

I don’t have the answers to all these questions.

But here is what I do know: I want to celebrate Esther’s Life.

I want to honor her special place in our family. And more than anything, I want to remember the hope that she has right now.

Adam and I have decided to start something in honor of little Esther. It is called:

Esther’s Hope: projects that carry her legacy of life

Our desire is to share the hope of heaven with other families who have experienced loss.

Esther is not hurting. She is not suffering. Esther has the one thing that matters: the presence of Jesus Christ. She has crossed over from this earth into the eternal life of heaven that can never be taken away.

Because of heaven, we have hope. Because of Jesus, our baby has life.

“…We who have taken refuge would have strong encouragement to take hold of the hope set before us. This hope we have as an anchor of the soul, a hope both sure and steadfast and one which enters within the veil, where Jesus has entered as a forerunner for us…” Hebrews 6:18 – 20

We truly feel that the greatest way we can honor our little girl’s life is to tell others about the eternal hope of Jesus. Our plan is to have small projects that reach out to families who are hurting from loss. Since Esther is not here to receive baby things, birthday presents, or Christmas gifts, we want to give to another family in her memory. Thus, her legacy of life will continue through us.

For the first project, we will be putting together a care package to take to the hospital. It will be for the next family who comes in devastated like we were – preparing to deliver their precious baby and say goodbye all at once. We plan to drop it off the week of Esther’s due date later this month. It will contain some of the things we found most helpful in the midst of our pain, including books with the message of Jesus. It will be given in memory of Esther.

We pray that through Esther’s Hope, someone’s life will be impacted for eternity. We also pray that as we reach out to other families from our experience, they will find a bit more strength in this journey through loss.

We are not sure exactly where this endeavor will take us. But we pray that it will grow, and truly honor both our baby girl and our Savior. They are the reasons we look forward to heaven!

As time goes on, I will share more about project plans. Perhaps someday soon, we will invite you to be involved! For now, would you pray for our family as we continue to heal and navigate through this difficult month?

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