What to Say Wednesday – Advice From a Dad Who Has Been There Part 2

What to say Wednesday 1Welcome to What to Say Wednesday: a weekly tip to support families experiencing the loss of a baby.

Today’s tip is part 2 of Advice From a Dad Who Has Been There

(Click HERE for part one)

Todd (lead singer of the Christian group Selah) and Angie Smith tragically lost their fourth daughter, Audrey, shortly after birth. In their book, I Will Carry You, Todd shares some tips on what to say from a grieving Dad’s point of view…

“Just keep it simple. Have empathy. Simple words like, “I am so sorry for you, and I will be praying for you,” are enough. It’s horrible. It’s devastating. We will never be the same. It will never be fixed in this life. We are completely powerless to do anything. There are no answers.

This doesn’t mean you can’t be encouraging, or you can’t smile, but let people grieve. Sometimes it feels as though grieving is a sign of spiritual weakness, or that when we are grieving we have to tag it with, “But I know God is in control.” Death is awful. It hurts you to your core. Don’t sugarcoat death. It is what it is. Be there for them. Sit with them. Make meals for them. Go to their house and clean it for them. Go in with some people and pay for them to go on a vacation and get away for a while. Be gracious enough to let them bare their soul and not be judged for how they feel. You can minister so much by being present and saying little.”

From the first time I read these words, they resonated so deeply within me. I am truly thankful for the honest perspective shown by this father.

I would like to hear from you. If you have experienced loss, what are some of the best/worst things you would recommend others say to parents who are grieving?

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