What to Say Wednesdsay: Sometimes Less is More

What to say Wednesday 1Welcome to What to Say Wednesday: a weekly tip on how to support families walking through a loss.

Here is today’s tip…

When something difficult, tragic, or unexplainable happens, people often try to say more and more words to make it better. Sometimes, when someone has lost a baby, less is more. This is especially true in the days immediately following the loss. My loving Grandfather showed us the perfect example of this in the days following Esther’s death. The day we found out she had died, he came by our house, gave Adam and I each a hug and whispered, “I love you.” When we were in the hospital waiting to deliver Esther, he walked in the room with a single rose in a vase, set it on the counter, gave Adam a hug, and left. A couple days later, I remember getting a text from him (He doesn’t do very many text messages!) that simply said, “I hurt because you hurt.” Again, a few days after we were home, he came in the same simple, quiet way, showing his love just by walking in our home for a brief moment in near silence.

There was a sweet calm about Grandad’s visits. Later, Adam and I reflected about how special they were. He never stayed long, yet we knew that he cared so deeply. And when he came, there was never any stress about what he would say or what we should say. He wasn’t trying to make conversation, come up with an explanation, or fix our pain. He simply wanted us to know that he was with us in our pain. I will always remember my Grandfather’s love during our most difficult days.

Sometimes less is really more.

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  1. […] on her blog that shares hope with grieving families, tells the brief but poignant story of how her grandfather responded to the death of her baby. His simple but profound skill at […]

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