What to Say Wednesday: “Everything Happens for a Reason”

What to say Wednesday 1It’s What To Say Wednesday – time for a tip on supporting families who have experienced loss…

Today’s tip is something NOT to say to a mom or dad who has experienced the loss of a baby.

I have been surprised time and time again by some of the odd ways people respond to tragedy. Perhaps one of the strangest things I have heard of people saying is, “Everything happens for a reason.” It is never a good idea to say this to a grieving mom or dad. There is absolutely no comfort in this statement. There is no good reason for a baby to die. Ever. Saying this type of thing only brings more hurt and confusion, and insinuates it is somehow good that the loss happened.

Sometimes there are no answers. Sometimes there is no reason. Sometimes we can’t understand.

I found it to be much more comforting when someone said something like, “This should not have happened.” This simple conclusion can do more to help than any well-intentioned attempt at an explanation.

Come back next week for another tip on supporting families walking through a loss.

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