I Am Thankful When People Say This…A Tip For Supporting Parents After a Later Loss

What to say Wednesday 1Here is today’s tip on supporting families who have lost a baby.

*This tip is best suited when the loss is a little later in pregnancy, but could apply at any time.*

Moms like to talk about their babies. When a loss occurs, people seem to think it is better not to talk about the baby, and that there is nothing really good to say in such a sad situation. Yet, even though their time was cut short with their little one, every mommy has special memories with her baby. Whether it be what the baby was like in the womb, or who a stillborn baby looked like, these memories are treasured. They are also very sensitive. Many moms would love the opportunity to share some little tidbit about her baby or her pregnancy.

If you know someone well, find a way to ask about the special memories of her baby. Asking this validates that life and reality of a child who has gone to heaven. It also gives a grieving mom the chance to talk about the baby that other people can’t see and know, but she knew deeply.

Some sensitive ways to ask this include:

“What are your favorite memories of your pregnancy?”

“I would love to hear more about your precious baby”

“Tell me about Esther..(Fill in the baby’s name)”

Obviously, some moms may not want to give details. If you ask, they may only say “He was perfect,” or “She was beautiful.” Or, some parents may want to talk more.

I find myself trying to find ways to talk about memories from my pregnancy because they are so important to me. I love talking about Esther. I cry sometimes, but that is okay. I’m still glad when people ask. She is my baby girl.

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