My Top 10 – Unusual Things I’m Thankful For This Year

photo(8)Thanksgiving is a time to remember the blessings God has given. This year, the task has been harder than usual for our family. We miss Esther so much on what would have been her first Thanksgiving. Yet as I have processed, reflected, pondered, and cried over the events of the last year, I have found a deep sense of thankfulness for a number of things that I never knew could be such a blessing to me. I wanted to share my top few with you…

1. I’m thankful for the false scare early in my pregnancy with Esther that caused me to bond so deeply with her in a short time. It also led to several ultrasounds which now represent so many memories of her.

2. I’m thankful for the opportunity to give birth to my premature, still baby. I never knew just how much this would mean to me.

3. I’m thankful for the one day I got to hold my baby. To talk to her, look at her perfect, tiny body, and gently kiss her goodbye. So many moms who lose babies never get this special time.

4. I’m thankful that Kyla wasn’t sleeping through the night at 19 months (when Esther died). Her still babyish need for me and strong mommy attachment got me through some of the hardest days and nights.

5. I’m thankful for the kindness of other moms who have lived through a loss . Their support has helped me remember I am not alone.

6. I’m thankful for the wake up call that Esther’s short life brought to our marriage. Adam and I have united in a deeper way than we knew possible.photo(9)

7. I’m thankful for a family who wanted to share in my grief.

8. I’m thankful that even though Esther’s earthly life was short, she has touched many other lives deeply.

9. I’m thankful that a piece of me went to heaven with Esther. Even though it hurts, heaven has become so very real to me.

10. I’m thankful for the privilege to be a mommy to two girls even though the world can only see one. The joy they BOTH bring me every day is truly precious.

As we soon head into another year, I pray that I can continue to find the blessings in unexpected places.

What unusual things are you thankful for this year?

 

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