Happy Birthday Esther Kate

Esther's birthdayOne year ago today little Esther was born. February 15. The day I experienced the pain of a silent birth. The day I held and kissed my little daughter. The day I died a million deaths. The day I lost a part of myself forever. The day we said goodbye until heaven. The day we started the rest of our lives without her…

But today is also the day we celebrate our second child and who she is in our family. How thankful we are that she was given to us! We rejoice at the indescribable gift of heaven.

Esther Kate Waller

February 15, 2013. Born at 3:18 am.

Today, in celebration of her, we will re-visit the hospital to leave a care package for another family who is birthing a child into heaven. We also plan to visit Esther’s grave and put some new flowers there. Adam, Kyla, and I will spend the evening at home together.

On Monday, we are having a celebration/memory time with a few family members. I plan to bake a cake and get some pink balloons. It feels nice to be able to remember Esther as the gift and blessing that she is.

I wanted to get something special in honor of this day. Sometimes I have a hard time sorting through my emotions to make choices like this. But a few days ago, it hit me: I wanted to buy a piggy bank. Kyla has one and loves putting coins in it. I wanted to get a piggy bank that said, “Esther’s Hope.” It would be both a keepsake in memory of her first birthday in heaven, and a something we can use to collect money for our Esther’s Hope projects. As I began to look for personalized piggy banks, I wasn’t all that impressed with what I was finding. Until I found this…

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OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

As soon as I saw it, I knew it was the one. Not only was it pink, able to be personalized, and adorable, but it was a shoe. Although Esther would never get to wear a pink bootie, it would symbolized her legacy that is still here through this project. She is still making an impact, leaving a footprint on the hearts of other families. Her life reminds me of the good news of heaven. Isaiah 52:7 says, “How lovely on the mountains Are the feet of him who brings good news…”

When I look at this shoe, I’m reminded that Esther is still with us…through the change she has brought into our lives. I smile when I realize that Esther is very much alive, just not here. We get to carry on her legacy of hope here on earth.

I like my little shoe! It makes me smile even on such a hard day.

ESTHER-150x150Every time I see this picture of my sweet girl’s tiny hand, it hurts to know I will never get to hold it here on earth. I won’t get to kiss it when she falls, or see it reaching up to for snuggles, or hold it while she learns to walk. But when I see this picture, it also warms my heart. It beautifully proves that she was real and she was here. It makes me long for heaven, where she will run and wrap her arms around me at last. I know that one day I will get to hug and kiss and squeeze my little girl forever, and nothing will be able to separate us again. I treasure this simple reminder of that.

My Dear Sweet Girl,

Happy Birthday in Heaven. We are sad you are not here, yet we rejoice that you are celebrating with the King. Your small life has touched many people in big ways. You are beautiful and precious. We honor your place in our family – you could never be forgotten or replaced. We miss you and we love you with all of our hearts. We will carry on your legacy until we see you again.

Hugs and Kisses from Mommy, Daddy, and Kyla.

Comments

  1. Nathan Cherry says:

    Happy Birthday Esther Kate – I love you! Your aunt and uncle and cousins love you and can’t wait to see you…

    Love you and praying for you Kalyn Adam and Kyla

  2. Hannah cherry says:

    Happy Birthday Esther!!! I can’t wait to see you and hold you in heaven! I love you and miss you soooooo much!

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